Oh dear, what is that?
Is it some vampire bat?
Or a rotten cat?
Ugh, it’s so fat!

I wince at the thought,
I cringe at every chance sought,
My troubled nerves it has caught,
My loyalty can never be bought.

But how and why?
You made me cry,
My cranium why must you pry?
Do you want to suck my brain dry?

And now this,
Why couldn’t you give it a miss?
You might as well run me over with a Kriss,
Dunk my head in alkaloid piss.

Deep endless scars,
Non-stop passing of cars,
Driven by petrol from South Pars,
Getting drunk in bars.

After all,
Life’s just a ball,
It can never be put to a stall,
Nor performed in a concert hall.

Get lost you ‘lil munchkin,
Aargh, don’t dig into my skin!
Please don’t inform my next-of-kin,
That I’m now a smashed pumpkin.